Thailand Tour Part 2-Elephants and Monkeys and Pineapples, Oh My!

Following our medicine shop adventure, we piled into a minivan and arrived shortly at the Elephant Conservatory and Hospital just outside of Lampang. I was not very excited about this part of our itinerary, thinking that I could ride an elephant at the zoo at home. But, this place was amazing! It ended up being my favorite part of our trip and I could have spent days there. The elephants were so cool. They were wandering around the grounds, most of them with training mahouts (drivers) on their backs. The grounds were huge and included a show area, lots of jungle, and best of all, a large lake in which we got to see the elephants bathe! That was the first thing we got to watch. The mahouts took their elephants (about 10 of them) into the water (about 4 meters deep) which they clearly enjoyed. The elly's played around in the water, snorting it into their trunks and then spraying each other for about 30 minutes. They even came over and soaked the spectators!


Bath Time!

After their bath, they headed over to the show ring where they showed off for us. They responded to cues, verbal and physical to perform tasks such as turning on and off a hose, balancing on a log, moving logs with their trunks (they can move up to 800 kg!), and picking up logs with their tusks. For the grand finale, we got to watch 3 of the big guys paint! With only verbal cues, they painted pictures on an easel and brush, just like a human would. Well, except they held the brush with their trunk! With the help of our crafty guide, Craig and I were able to quickly reserve one of the three paintings to purchase. Good thing too because we got the coolest one, and as soon as we reserved it, tons of other people tried to buy it. Lucky us! So, now we are the proud owners of a painting of an adult and baby elephant walking off into the sunset, painted by Nua-Un.


Nua-Un painting our masterpiece

Afterward, the elephants came over to the sides of the ring to check us out. They were very friendly and poked around with their trunks to see what we had. One of them poked me right in the stomach, hard enough to make me take a step back. Strong!


Checking Katie out

Next it was time to climb on and go for a ride! The mahouts get on by either climbing up the trunk or having the elephant hold up one front leg like a step. We got on from a tree stand. Each elephant had a 2-person seat (similar to a chair lift seat) strapped onto its back. Craig and I climbed on behind the mahout and off we lumbered. The minute the elephant stepped away from the stand, I realized how high up we were. The elephant's back was about 10 feet high and we were sitting on an elevated seat above that. The animals are massive! Our guy seemed happy enough to have us onboard though and we lurched along rocking abruptly side to side, down to the lake, through the lake (so cool!) and off into the jungle. Here's where the real adventure began. There were 3 elephants ahead of us carrying 6 of our group members. I fully expected to follow them up the trail but ours had a different idea. Our elephant and the one behind us walked off the trail, into the jungle greenery. Apparently, while giving us a ride, they were also going to be trailblazing! Our driver did not speak english and apparently neither did our elephant because the both ignored my cries of fear for the next 20 minutes. The mahout would grunt a command and the elephant would grab a bunch of branches or plants with his trunk and tear them out of the way. This went on for awhile and was very interesting and not too scary until we came to the hill. When I first saw the hill I thought, "Right. There's no way we're going up that so we must be clearing more brush to the side." Then I saw the humongous round indentations in the mud on the hill and realized that we were indeed going up it. Craig will confirm that this was a frightening prospect as it was literally almost straight up. I tried to console myself by leaning as far as I could away from the edge, gripping the bar on the seat with one hand and Craig's shorts with the other. Our driver found this very entertaining and laughed at me. I just KNEW we were going to tip over and be squashed in the mud under our 2 ton elephant. However, to my relief, with a few slips and tips, our elephant carried us safely to the top and back onto the trail. Whew! The ride was really fun, especially since we got to go off-roading!

Following the ride, we bought some big hunks of sugar cane to feed one of the elephants. Greedy little bugger! He didn't waste any time reaching out with his trunk and grabbing the pieces from us. Then he would stuff it quickly in his mouth and reach for the next one. Our 10 pieces lasted about 10 seconds. Next we walked over to the hospital part of the grounds. Over there, injured elephants are cared for. Some had infected wounds, some had injuries from being hit by a car or attacked by poachers. The elephants are given medical attention and then returned to the surrounding jungle. The staff even go into the jungle at night to check on all of them and protect them from poachers. They really seemed to care about the animals there and took pride in helping them. Also at the hospital were two baby elephants! One was 2 months old and very shy. He didn't want to leave the protection of his mother's legs but he was very cute. The other was 6 months old and more brave. He was showing off his soccer skills for awhile and would go over to his very protective mom for some love once in awhile. Both mom and baby checked us out with their trunks and were very friendly.


Baby Elephant showing us his skills

We spent a fair amount of time watching the young guy kick his soccer ball and chase after it but then it was time to leave. We picked up our now dry painting (painted on elephant dung paper and stored safely in an elephant dung carrying canister) and said goodbye to the big gray beasts. What a fantastic day!

We got back into the van where our guide announced he had a surprise for us enroute to Chiang Rai, a 4-hour journey. But first we stopped at a market to sample some fried bugs. The options included but were not limited to cockroaches, grasshoppers (or "jumping grass" as our guide called them), crickets, and worms. Craig sampled a bamboo worm. "Tasted like dry and flaky and it sucked all the water out of your mouth." I passed on that opportunity.

Afterward, we drove on and arrived at a jungle plantation sort of place. We were greeted by a toothless thai man who was obviously very excited to see us and ushered us over to a covered area. First then proceeded to pick up two baskets connected by a pole, put it on his shoulder, donned a rice picker type hat and headed out with the thai guy and his machete. We all followed and realized we were at a pineapple farm! I had no idea pineapples don't grow on trees! They grow in spiky leafed green plants close to the ground. The machete was used to chop off a bunch of ripe pineapples and then to carve them up for us to eat.


Pineaple Farm Guy preparing our feast

Best, juiciest, and sweetest pineapple ever! Unfortunately, my tummy was still not happy so I didn't get to enjoy much but Craig definitely ate his share and mine! It was a really cool surprise.

After everyone had their fill, we drove on to our really cool, treehouse-like guesthouse to get ready for dinner. The night's restaurant selection was Cabbages and Condoms. Interesting......along with 2 other now-sick guys in the group, I decided to hang back at the hotel as I was feeling pretty terrible, although I was curious about the theme. Craig was so great - he went out and found me some gatorade and crackers to sustain me while he was at dinner. When he got back to the room, he described the decor of the restaurant: a Santa Claus and another man made completely of condoms. It was then that I knew I really missed out. But my gatorade was so good. Oh, and of course I missed more karaoke by our guide.

Next morning I was feeling a bit better, thankfully because we were in for a boat ride on the mighty Mekong river. This area is called the Golden Triangle because it's where Thailand, Laos, and Burma (Myanmar) all come together. We boarded another long tail boat and headed across the river to the Laos market. The market was similar to thai ones we had seen except the children were braver and were begging for money. I gave each of a group of 3 kids some spare change so that I could take their picture.


Laos Children, now with a little money in their pockets

Cute kids but kinda sad. We wandered around for awhile, checking out all the market goods and came across some bottles with dead snakes inside. Turns out, it was snake whiskey which cures back pain and makes you sleep better. One lady was encouraging us to try it so Kiran (a groupie) accepted the challenge and downed a shot. Then Craig stepped up and gulped some. I'm glad I had the camera ready because his reaction was priceless:


Craig after his snake whiskey. YUM!

Only our groupie from Colombia was able to drink the stuff enjoyably without cringing.

When we had our fill of the market, we drove further up the river in the boats to the triangle, the actual point where the 3 countries meet. To the left was Thailand, in front of us was Burma, and to the right was Laos. It was pretty cool to see. We took the boats to a restaurant for a buffet lunch and then walked over to the opium museum to learn about the history of the drug. Next we were off to another market, right on the border of Thailand and Myanmar (old Burma). Craig and I wanted to cross the border into Myanmar for the passport stamp so our guide headed us and another girl in the right direction. We handed over some cash and were ushered into a very shady, dark, sketchy interrogation room. The Myanmar guards took our passports, asked us some questions, filled out some paperwork, and informed us they would hold onto our passports until we crossed back over the border. This did not sit well with us but we really had no choice at that point. So, we left the office, walked over a bridge to the Myanmar market, took a couple of pics, were harassed by lots of poor Burmese people, felt very uncomfortable and unsafe, and decided to cross back to Thailand, all in a matter of 10 minutes. Thankfully, our passports were returned to us without incident and we were back in the comfort of Thailand in minutes. We met up with the rest of our group and piled back into the van for our second "surprise."

This time, we pulled into a park-like setting and were informed we needed to leave all belongings in the van and to hold onto our cameras very tightly because the monkeys like to steal them! Yay! We were going to feed some wild monkeys. We bought a bucket of peanuts and the monkeys came climbing out of the jungle, swinging in trees and vines down the cliff just like in the movies! It was really fun to watch. They weren't shy about coming over to grab a peanut from your hand and scurry a few feet away to eat it. There were lots of monkeys, and even a mother with a tiny baby clinging to her stomach.


Katie feeding Mama Monkey


Mama and Baby Monkey

This ended up being another of our trip favorites, made even cooler because the monkeys were wild, not caged up at all. We hung with them for awhile and then our guide purchased three eels to release in the pond. This apparently brings good luck. You can also buy frogs, birds, turtles, etc. to release at different places, all for good luck.
It was time to leave the monkeys to go back to our treehouse and prepare for another exciting dinner. This time, we went to a large open-air area surrounded by street vendors selling their tasty thai treats. We chose our dishes (I again employed the help of First while Craig again utilised his pointer finger for food selection) and bought some beer undercover. It is not legal to sell beer at that venue but our guide had connections and employed the services of some undercover beer salesman. Craig ordered a beer from a young guy, slipped him some cash, and the bottle was delivered on the down low, under the table, in a plastic bag. Very shady operation but hilarious!


Looking hot at the show

The entertainment taking place on the stage in front of us that evening was a Ladyboy show. Ladyboys are Thailands version of transvestites. I do believe they are the most beautiful cross dressers in the world. After one guy in our group was asked if he knew "that broad is a bloke," he replied "yeah, but she's bloody gorgeous!" It was really unbelievable that these elegant, pretty, graceful girls were men! Once again, our guide came through and arranged for us to meet the ladyboys backstage during the show. Even up close, you could not tell!


Craig with his Ladyboy

Elephants and Monkeys (and lots of other stuff)

I will leave you with the Ladyboys for tonight. Watch for the next blog where we'll tell you about more elephants, tigers, waterfalls, getting blessed by a monk, and sleeping on a train! Oh, and also the fairytale white temple I forgot about in this post.